Exclusive
JULY FOURTH FRACTURED:
A NEW I HAVE A DREAM,
FOR A NEW KIND OF KING
EXCLUSIVE!
Phoebe and Cat have obtained what appears to be an advance copy of the speech President Trump is to deliver at the Lincoln Memorial on the Fourth of July.
While they haven’t had time to examine it closely, it seems to borrow heavily from the historic “I Have A Dream” speech that Martin Luther King Jr. delivered from the same place five decades ago.
In fact, the text is so fresh that it shows where Trump’s lazy speechwriters have apparently edited King’s talk, with some words eliminated (you can see the actual cross-outs in underlined italics and smaller letters, and new words changed or added , as indicated by the CAPITAL LETTERS.
As far as they can tell, if it is taken from King’s 1963 speech, it’s not the whole thing; which is not surprising, since the president’s writers probably left out huge chunks, knowing their boss’ short attention span and disdain for history.
Is this really a doctored Dr. King?
Or is it another example of the new, bold and personal stamp that Donald Trump is putting on the American story.
As journalists, and a mere dog and cat at that, they can’t answer those questions, just present the facts as slipped under their door and presented for you to judge.
- The Editors, On Trump's Trail
* * *
THE PRESIDENT:
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation AND THE WORLD.
Five score years ago, IT SEEMS ONLY YESTERDAY THAT a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous MONSTROUS decree came as a great beacon light of hope DISAPPOINTMENT to millions of Negro slaves TO THOUSANDS OF SLAVE OWNERS who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice KNOWN AS THE ‘LOST CAUSE’ OR, MORE COMMONLY, THE CIVIL WAR.
* * *
In a sense we’ve come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence - THAT SLAVES WOULD BE COUNTED AS THREE-FIFTHS OF THE REST OF THE POPULATION - they were signing a promissory note to which every WHITE American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy TYRANNY. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation INTEGRATION to the sunlit path of racial justice INJUSTICE. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice FAIRNESS to the solid rock of brotherhood UNFAIRNESS. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all SOME of God’s children.
* * *
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men SOME men (AND NO WOMEN, NO PUSSIES) are created equal.” I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will NEVER AGAIN be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
* * *
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice CLIMATE CHANGE THAT DOESN’T EXIST, sweltering with the heat of oppression FAKE SCIENCE, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice INJUSTICE.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not ONLY be judged by the color of their skin but AND NEVER by the content of their character, IF THEY HAVE ANY.
I have a dream today.
* * *
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious RESURGENT racists – ROY MOORE, WHERE ARE YOU? I SEE YOU THERE. COME UP HERE, ROY – A GREAT AMERICAN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” AND “NO ABORTIONS, NO EXCEPTIONS.”
One day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able AGAIN FORBIDDEN to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
BOB BARR, YOU BETTER BE TAKING NOTES, BECAUSE I HAVE IN MIND SOME CIVIL RIGHTS ‘REFORMS.’ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GREATEST, MOST LOYAL, MOST OBSEQUIOUS ATTORNEY GENERAL IN HISTORY!
I have a dream today.
* * *
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted FRACKED, every hill and mountain shall be made low BY STRIP-MINING AND THE PROMISE OF WONDERFUL, GREAT COAL, the rough places will be made plain TO STAY JUST AS THEY ARE, and the crooked places will be made straight REMAIN AS CROOKED AS MY CABINET, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY TAX RETURNS.
* * *
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood BIGOTRY.
With this faith, we SOME OF US will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle, to go to jail BE PARDONED together, to stand up for freedom OPPRESSION together, knowing that we MEN will be free one day.
This will be the day, this will be the day when all JUST A FEW of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning: “My country, ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty TYRANNY, of thee I sing. and where my fathers died, the land of the pilgrim’s pride THE LAND THE PILGRIMS STOLE FROM THE NATIVE AMERICANS, from every mountainside, let freedom DESPAIR ring!”
* * *
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom OPPRESSION ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire – RUSSIA, I HOPE YOU ARE STILL LISTENING.
Let freedom REPRESSION ring from the mighty mountains of New York VALLEYS OF WALL STREET.
Let freedom CYNICISM ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania THAT CROOKED HILLARY FORFEITED IN 2016.
Let freedom ring WARRANTS ISSUE from the snow-capped POT- CLOUDED Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom FEAR ring from the curvaceous slopes SANCTUARY CITIES of California (WHICH WE’LL TAKE CARE OF IN THE 2ND TERM.
But not only that: Let freedom REGRESSION ring ROLL DOWN from Stone Mountain of Georgia AND FROM THE RESTORED MONUMENTS TO STONEWALL JACKSON.
Let freedom NOTHING ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom THE SOUND OF SHOTGUNS ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi, WHERE GOOD PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES DISCUSSED CIVIL RIGHTS.
From every mountainside, GOLF COURSE, CASINO, AND HOTEL OF AMERICA, let freedom CASH REGISTERS ring.
* * *
LET ME END HERE WITH A TWEET. PLEASE FOLD YOUR THUMBS AND KNEEL.
TODAY, I HAVE SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER INSTRUCTING THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE TO MAKE SURE THE PICTURES OF TODAY’S GREAT GATHERING COME OUT RIGHT, SO THERE WILL BE NO DISPUTE ABOUT THE VAST, GIGANTIC CROWDS GATHERED HERE TODAY, WHICH HAVE NO PARALLEL IN HUMAN HISTORY!
NOW, I INVITE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN TO GATHER AROUND THE NEWEST, MOST POWERFUL, MOST DESTRUCTIVE ARRAY OF SHERMAN TANKS EVER ASSEMBLED ON THE NATIONAL MALL, JUST A SYMBOL OF WHAT I HAVE IN MIND FOR MY 2ND, 3RD AND 4TH TERMS. SO APPROPRIATE TO MENTION THE 4TH TERM HERE, ON THE 4TH OF JULY. SO APPROPRIATE.
LASTLY, I - AND ONLY I – CAN LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT:
THIS IS NOT A DREAM.
BUT IT IS A NIGHTMARE.
* * *
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men SOME men (AND NO WOMEN, NO PUSSIES) are created equal.” I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will NEVER AGAIN be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
* * *
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice CLIMATE CHANGE THAT DOESN’T EXIST, sweltering with the heat of oppression FAKE SCIENCE, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice INJUSTICE.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not ONLY be judged by the color of their skin but AND NEVER by the content of their character, IF THEY HAVE ANY.
I have a dream today.
* * *
I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, with its vicious RESURGENT racists – ROY MOORE, WHERE ARE YOU? I SEE YOU THERE. COME UP HERE, ROY – A GREAT AMERICAN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN - with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of “interposition” and “nullification” AND “NO ABORTIONS, NO EXCEPTIONS.”
One day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able AGAIN FORBIDDEN to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
BOB BARR, YOU BETTER BE TAKING NOTES, BECAUSE I HAVE IN MIND SOME CIVIL RIGHTS ‘REFORMS.’ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GREATEST, MOST LOYAL, MOST OBSEQUIOUS ATTORNEY GENERAL IN HISTORY!
I have a dream today.
* * *
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted FRACKED, every hill and mountain shall be made low BY STRIP-MINING AND THE PROMISE OF WONDERFUL, GREAT COAL, the rough places will be made plain TO STAY JUST AS THEY ARE, and the crooked places will be made straight REMAIN AS CROOKED AS MY CABINET, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY TAX RETURNS.
* * *
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood BIGOTRY.
With this faith, we SOME OF US will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle, to go to jail BE PARDONED together, to stand up for freedom OPPRESSION together, knowing that we MEN will be free one day.
This will be the day, this will be the day when all JUST A FEW of God’s children will be able to sing with new meaning: “My country, ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty TYRANNY, of thee I sing. and where my fathers died, the land of the pilgrim’s pride THE LAND THE PILGRIMS STOLE FROM THE NATIVE AMERICANS, from every mountainside, let freedom DESPAIR ring!”
* * *
And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom OPPRESSION ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire – RUSSIA, I HOPE YOU ARE STILL LISTENING.
Let freedom REPRESSION ring from the mighty mountains of New York VALLEYS OF WALL STREET.
Let freedom CYNICISM ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania THAT CROOKED HILLARY FORFEITED IN 2016.
Let freedom ring WARRANTS ISSUE from the snow-capped POT- CLOUDED Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom FEAR ring from the curvaceous slopes SANCTUARY CITIES of California (WHICH WE’LL TAKE CARE OF IN THE 2ND TERM.
But not only that: Let freedom REGRESSION ring ROLL DOWN from Stone Mountain of Georgia AND FROM THE RESTORED MONUMENTS TO STONEWALL JACKSON.
Let freedom NOTHING ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom THE SOUND OF SHOTGUNS ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi, WHERE GOOD PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES DISCUSSED CIVIL RIGHTS.
From every mountainside, GOLF COURSE, CASINO, AND HOTEL OF AMERICA, let freedom CASH REGISTERS ring.
* * *
LET ME END HERE WITH A TWEET. PLEASE FOLD YOUR THUMBS AND KNEEL.
TODAY, I HAVE SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER INSTRUCTING THE NATIONAL PARK SERVICE TO MAKE SURE THE PICTURES OF TODAY’S GREAT GATHERING COME OUT RIGHT, SO THERE WILL BE NO DISPUTE ABOUT THE VAST, GIGANTIC CROWDS GATHERED HERE TODAY, WHICH HAVE NO PARALLEL IN HUMAN HISTORY!
NOW, I INVITE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN TO GATHER AROUND THE NEWEST, MOST POWERFUL, MOST DESTRUCTIVE ARRAY OF SHERMAN TANKS EVER ASSEMBLED ON THE NATIONAL MALL, JUST A SYMBOL OF WHAT I HAVE IN MIND FOR MY 2ND, 3RD AND 4TH TERMS. SO APPROPRIATE TO MENTION THE 4TH TERM HERE, ON THE 4TH OF JULY. SO APPROPRIATE.
LASTLY, I - AND ONLY I – CAN LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT:
THIS IS NOT A DREAM.
BUT IT IS A NIGHTMARE.
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