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Post Office

11/23/2021

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Letter from a Post Office
ASK NOT WHAT JOE BIDEN CAN DO FOR US;
BUT WHAT wE SHOULD DO FOR JOE BIDEN?

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A FRIEND OF OURS  called today about what just had happened at the Post Office.
  He had been standing in line to mail something to the United Kingdom, an expensive errand that already had him in a foul mood.
   Then he spotted the baseball cap that another person in line was wearing, with the slogan “Let’s Go Brandon.”
    Our friend’s mental state quickly went to a full boil.
   “What should I do?” he wondered, and not in a nice way.

YOU MAY BE asking why something so innocuous as “Let’s Go Brandon” should trigger such a reaction. In which case, that makes you a clueless liberal, a witless progressive and even worse, a registered Democrat.
    Simply translated, “Let’s go Brandon,” is Right Wing snark for “Fuck Joe Biden.”
    It’s spread across social media with the speed of a California wildfire or a Louisiana flood, so that in less than two months, it’s become common Republican-speak, in print and video, on hats, banners and T-shirts.
   It’s origin has everything and nothing to do with fast cars.
    According to an Associated Press story I looked up online,  the slogan got the checkered flag at an  Oct. 2 NASCAR event at Alabama's Talladega Superspeedway. A winning driver, Brandon Brown, was being interviewed by an NBC sportscaster.
   In the background, TV viewers could hear the crowd chanting, but not clearly. The sports guy speculated that fans were cheering Mr. Brown: “Let’s go Brandon.” What a doofus: they were shouting “Fuck Joe Biden.”
   Readers of this blog know that I’m just a simple stray from Missouri, who’s frankly starting to show her age. But I’m blown away by this one: people shell out money for a ticket to NASCAR and instead of celebrating a winning driver, they go full potty-mouth on the President of the United States.
   “What the gosh-darn heck is going on?” I asked Mr. O, the politically astute opossum and my blogging partner.
   “It’s just Republicans being Republicans,” the marsupial answered.
   “Same question, same answer as why most Republicans wouldn’t censure Rep. Paul Gosar, R-AZ after he posted a cartoon in which he “kills” Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez , D-NY?” Mr. O said. “Or why they trivialize, even endorse, the Jan. 6 insurrection at the Capitol in which some of them might have been murdered? Or why they are pushing their End of Days restoration dream of Donald Trump being back in the White House that they think he really never left? Why are they so determined to kill each other and the rest of us with their Covid nonsense?”

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BACK AT THE POST OFFICE: The hat emblazoned with “Let’s go Brandon” was having its intended effect on our friend, who unlike most liberals, is savvy to Right Wing codespeak.
    He knew he had to do something. But what?
   Should he confront the man, who was 6-foot-plus, something our friend never has been and never expects to be.
    Propose an even swap of reasoned ideas? I'll show you mine, if you won't show me yours.
    A scholarly quiz: Do you know how the Constitution defines treason, Idiot?
    A direct challenge: What kind of an asshole supports somebody who wants to overthrow the government?
   Finally, our friend acted.
   He took a deep breath and shouted: “GOD BLESS JOE BIDEN!”

THE REACTION? The hat-wearer refused to make eye contact.
   The line moved forward. Our friend emptied his wallet and sent his missive on its slow trip across the Atlantic. He drove home.
   En route, being a liberal, he replayed the incident, second-guessing himself, even phoning friends, including us, pondering what he should have done. Or not.
   Had he chickened out? Why didn’t he speak to the man? Challenged him for his coded crudity right there on federal property? What could he have said? And on and on and on.
   “What do you think he should have done?” I asked Mr. O.
   “Just what he did,” the opossum said. “It was perfect. Inspired.”
   “Inspired that he called on God to take sides politically right there in the Post Office?” I replied.
   “Absolutely,” Mr. O said."It’s time Democrats started standing up for Joe Biden. Even a long-tailed marsupial knows that Joe Biden saved democracy, in case anyone’s forgotten. But now the Crazy Right is trying to put all that in reverse, and fast.”
   “Patriots need to step up, go on offense and stop their whining, their squabbling and stop blaming their President, their party and themselves for everything that the Republicans are up to.”
   “Time to stop fretting over polls,” he said. “It’s time to stop twisting ourselves into moderate-shaped pretzels. Republicans are out to wreck the country, and you think fanatics will be won over with middle-of-the-road platitudes? There can be no peace with cruel, sadistic, death-wish terrorists bent on  turning the Oval Office into a Throne Room.”

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"SHOUT IT OUT,”  Mr. O thundered. “Stand up. Print it in capital letters. Write it big. Make sure they can hear you in the Republican sewers, in the middle of the road where moderates are about to be whacked from both directions; make it echo across the liberals' lofty Green Mountains and on both their elite coasts.”
   “We need to hear it in the churches, at the supermarkets, the muffler shops, on the street corners, on the radio, AM and FM, across the Internet, in the doughnut shops, at the national parks, during book clubs, steamed into  kitchens and bedrooms, heard at the opera, on the factory floor, delivered by Amazon vans and UPS trucks, played over and over on the putting green, the tennis court, the race track, of course, in the bowling alley, if any are left. And  if you happen to be at the Post Office, you have call it out there, too.”
   By now, Mr. O was hoarse and nearly out of breath.
   “Just make sure everyone can hear you,” he croaked.
   “Shout it. Loud. And shout it big:"
                            GOD BLESS JOE BIDEN!


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1 Comment

11.5.21

11/5/2021

0 Comments

 

WHAT’S WORSE THAN A BAD ELECTION NIGHT?
HEARING FROM THE PUNDITS THE DAY AFTER

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“I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S A BUMMER,” I was saying to the opossum.
   “The outcome of Tuesday’s election!” Mr. O said enthusiastically, as if he knew the correct answer before his classmates and was waving his paw to get the teacher’s attention.
   And not waiting, he blurted: “The Democrats lost the Virginia governor’s race, and came close to losing the one in New Jersey, and this proves that the party’s doomed in next year’s election.”
   At least, Mr. O had not used the word “gubernatorial.”
   “Yes. And no,” I said. “Of course I wish that Virginia would continue to be run by a Democrat. Republicans are frightening. No state should have a Republican in charge; the party must disband or be be ostracized  as an anti-democratic organization embracing authoritarianism and violence.”
   “What is bothering you, Phoebe?” he said.
   “The pundits, and what they had to say the day after the election, that’s what’s got my dander up,” I said.
   “Don’t you mean: ‘That’s what’s got my hackles up?’ Dogs have hackles, which are hairs they raise when they’re considering going on the attack,” Mr. O said authoritatively. “Although I’ve never been sure what ‘hackles’ are. Or ‘dander,’ for that matter.”
   “While you’re Googling the answers,” I said, “I’ll explain why I’m so exercised.”
   “Exercise is good for all of us,” Mr. O said helpfully.
   How can somebody be so cute – that face on the opossum will get you every time –  but be so obtuse? I launched into my diatribe anyway.

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“THE PUNDOCRACY’S reaction to the election was as predictable as the outcome of the voting in the “most closely watched states,” I began. “First of all,  their day-after ‘shock’ was bogus. The polls had been showing Glenn Youngkin, the Republican, gaining in Virginia, then coming even with Terry McAuliffe, a former governor and national Democratic bigwig. The blowhards had been wringing their hands for weeks. So, no surprise.”
   “Okay,” Mr. O said, “what else?”
   “What they said about the New Jersey race, how everyone was shocked – shocked, I say – by the closeness of the race: Memo to pundits and Democratic crybabies everywhere: Philip D. Murphy, the Democratic governor, won New Jersey. As in got-more-votes. What’s more, Murphy’s the first Democratic governor to be re-elected in that bizzaro, state in more than 40 years.”
   “Yes, but...,” Mr. O tried to interrupt.
   “No buts,” I continued. “The Democrats lost one state and won one. WE WON. Proclaim the positive. VICTORY IN NJ! But you’d never know there was an upside. Here’s a sample of news and opinion headlines:

CNN:
ANALYSIS: DEMOCRATS GOT SHELLACKED. NOW WHAT?

BOSTON GLOBE:
AFTER VIRGINIA, DEMOCRATS SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE FREAKING OUT ABOUT NOW

POLITICO:
HOUSE DEMS SUBURBAN FOUNDATION AT RISK OF CRUMBLING AFTER TUESDAY’S RESULTS

NEW YORK TIMES:
ROCKED BY SURPRISE LOSSES, DEMOCRATS SOUND THE ALARM FOR 2022

WASHINGTON POST::
AN OFF-YEAR ELECTORAL WIPEOUT HIGHLIGHTED THE FRAGILE STATE OF THE PARTY’S ELECTORAL MAJORITIES IN THE HOUSE AND SENATE.

THE GUARDIAN::
BODY BLOW FOR BIDEN AS VOTERS IN VIRGINIA AND NEW JERSEY DESERT DEMOCRATS
“I’D SAY THOSE HEADLINES pretty much tell the story,” Mr. O said.
   I just starred at him in disbelief, then shouted: “What do marsupials know about anything?!”
   “I wouldn’t go there,” Mr. O warned calmly. “Shouldn’t question whether animals make good political analysts in the same blog that’s written by a stray puppy and an opossum who wandered into her backyard.”
   “Whatever,” I growled. “Here’s the thing: Virginia’s gubernatorial – I mean governor’s – race was an election in one state, not 50. Biden wasn’t on the ticket. The House and Senate seats were not on the ballot. The only ‘lesson’ is that Republicans are always a threat. And a menace. We live in scary times. Period.”
   “But…,” Mr. O said, trying again.
   “What really galls me,” I interrupted, “was how the Pundocracy was so eager to blame Democratic progressives. Exhibit A: James Carville. You remember the ‘Ragin’ Cajun’ – he was the down-to-earth guy who was part of Bill ‘The Sex Fiend’ Clinton’s brain trust. Wednesday evening, he was among the commentator’s on the usually sensible PBS NewsHour program.

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JAMES CARVILLE appearing on the PBS NewsHour Nov. 3
   Well, what went wrong is this stupid wokeness.
   All right? Don't just look at Virginia and New Jersey.     Look at Long Island, look at Buffalo, look at Minneapolis. Even look at Seattle, Washington. I mean, this defund the police lunacy, this take Abraham Lincoln's name off of schools, that — people see that.
   And it's just — really have a suppressive effect all across the country to Democrats. Some of these people need to go to a woke detox center or something. They're expressing language that people just don't use. And there's a backlash and a frustration at that.
                                         * * *
   And we have got to change this and not be about changing dictionaries and change laws. And these faculty lounge people that sit around mulling about I don't know what are — they're not working.
   Later in the segment,  Carville starts off on a ‘positive’ note, then goes back on the attack. Here’s more from the NewsHour transcript:
   We could have a roaring economy. This Build Back Better is going to give people a lot of confidence. And as long as we talk about things that are relevant to people and understand what they're going through in their lives and get rid of this left-wing nonsense, this claptrap I hear, I think we can be fine.
                                            * * *
   And there's a real lesson here. And it can be corrected. But they have got — these people have to understand, no one — you're not popular. People don't want to ride in the car with you. They don't want to ride next to you in the subway.   You're annoying people.

“WOW!” Mr. O said. “It’s hard to get a handle on all of that venom.”
   “Let’s start with Jim’s ‘good friend,’ Terry McAuliffe, who, Carville said, was sunk by Progressives'  language," I said. “But it was Terry’s campaign, and obviously, Terry failed to appeal to lots of Democrats. Hey, Jim: It wasn't Terry's party who let him down. It was Terry who pulled his party down."
   “Or, what about that new GOP political wizard, Glenn Youngkin?  He just played the familiar old Republican cards: (A) Race, disguised this time as school issues, promising to ban teaching of ‘Critical Race Theory,’ (not part of the Virginia education curriculum) ; and (B) Pandering to Trump voters, by making sure he was not seen seen on the campaign  trail with Trump; but not criticizing him, either, as he sucked up to Trump voters."
   “But what’s really disturbing about Carville’s comments," I said, "was his savage attack on the people who make up the soul of the Democratic Party, Progressives and Blacks."
    "Carville was seething with contempt for Democrats who’ve been sensitized to racial issues, belittling their ‘stupid wokeness,’ demonizing 'these faculty lounge people,’ and thus reverting to old fashioned conservative tropes that attack eggheads and academics. Not acknowledging where the real enthusiasm, the energy and most of thoughtful ideas come from in the Democratic Party – from the party’s Progressives.

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ADMITTEDLY, BY NOW, I was nearing the edge of the cliff, practically screaming at the opossum.
   “It’s worse,” I said. “Listen to Carville’s contempt for champions of racial justice: People don't want to ride in the car with you. They don't want to ride next to you in the subway. You're annoying people. ”
   “So much for George Floyd and Black Lives Matter and the Civil Rights Movement. Just listen to the advice Carville’s dishing out. I’m paraphrasing: If you want to win an election, put your knee on the neck of the Democratic Party’s most important constituency. And, while you’re about it, screw the entire Civil Rights Movement. Be careful of who sits next to you on the subway. One of them might be Rosa Parks. The Gospel according to Saint. James: If you want to beat Trump and his maniac Republicans, act like them, think like them, talk like them; and hate like them."
   I was practically in tears, maybe from anger, and certainly out of fear. The after-election analysis seemed to me to be sort of like the Trump presidency itself: You thought it was going to be bad, but the reality was even worse.
    I was shaking.
   Mr. O looked at me with alarm, the way you might regard a friend who’s pleasant dinner-table talk has suddenly turned completely active volcano.
   He sat quietly for a while.
   “So, Phoebe,” he said finally, “If I’m hearing you right, you didn’t find the after-election analysis all that helpful?”

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    A "sweet dog" and a smart opossum consider a nation at risk.

    The writers

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    PHOEBE, a "sweet dog" who came to Rhode Island in 2010 as a stray puppy from Missouri, was a political agnostic until Trump's catastrophic election. She tracked his presidency in a blog, which she decided to resurrect it this year  when it became obvious that Republicans are committed to Trump's destructive policies
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    MR. O, an opossum, showed up in Phoebe's backyard somewhat mysteriously. He turned out to have genuine insight into political matters, and he agreed to assume co-author duties of the blog after Phoebe's previous writing partner, Cat, a cat, died.
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    CAT

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