DOGS GO TO WORK:
A LONE LIGHT TWINKLES IN TRUMP’S DARK SKY
AS IMPLAUSIBLE as it seems, the new administration is moving in a positive direction on at least one subject.
Here’s the top of the story as it appears today on the Washington Post’s Website. It’s so inspired that I’m going to give it to you word-for-word (Isn’t that what “copyright” means?)
In a first for the government, dogs will be welcome at the Interior Department
By Lisa Rein and Karin Brulliard March 23 at 6:00 AM
(Editor’s note: this story is so exciting we needed two reporters to do it)
The Cabinet secretary who rode a horse to work on his first day is letting his employees bring their dogs to the office.
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke will announce in an email to employees Thursday morning the start of “Doggy Days at Interior,” a program that will launch with test runs at the agency’s Washington headquarters on two Fridays in May and September.
The new policy will make Interior the first federal agency to go dog-friendly – and cement Zinke’s status as the Trump administration’s most visible animal fan. Zinke earlier this month arrived at his new workplace astride Tonto, a bay roan gelding who belongs to the U.S. Park Police and resides in stables on the Mall.
President Trump, meanwhile, remains pet-less, a status that makes him the first U.S. leader in 150 years without a companion animal and leaves the White House without a first dog or cat. Vice President Pence and his family keep two cats and a rabbit at their Naval Observatory home, though those critters keep a relative low profile.
(I’m predicting a big win for the Meanest President Ever, by the way, because the Freedom Caucus of Cruel Conservatives will chicken out and vote yes, since they can’t be counted on to do anything positive.)
Conservatives will cry that the Washington Post can’t write a completely positive story – note how the article quickly gets in some digs at the Worst President Ever, pointing out the lack of pets in the Dark House, noting that even Vice President Mean has two cats and a bunny.
And surely, they will complain about the inevitable “regulations” that Zinke will roll out to make sure that diseased, flea-infested, incontinent, smelly, drooling dogs aren’t included. And the story goes onto say that dog-averse workers will be allowed to work from home on Doggy Days, coddling federal shirkers that will further enrage the Cruel Caucus.
Independents will complain that Zinke apparently is leaving out other species, like snakes, ferrets, turtles, amoebas and rats (Don’t worry folks, Worst Ever has installed plenty of those already), and that the Interior Department's program is either too pro-dog or very token-dog.
CAT, who, as I have mentioned, leans pro-Worst took up that civil rights theme, noting that there doesn’t seem to by any suggestion of bring-your-cat-to-work. That strikes me as impracticable on Cat’s part.
“Ever heard of the phrase that something is so difficult that it’s ‘Like trying to herd cats’?” I asked Cat.
“No,” he said, glaring at me.
“And Phoebe, why do you even care? You never go to work, since Our Humans are both retired.”
“I happen to be qualified by a national organization as a Therapy Dog, and one of these days the Grumpy One is going to take me to a nursing home to comfort the inmates or whatever they call the people there,” I said.
“I can’t wait," Cat said. "It’s always nice when you’re out of the house,"
BLOG READERS, I don’t want you to think that we’re going soft on the president.
This is still the Make the World Worse administration. As I mentioned, the House will probably get the health program passed tonight and shipped off to the Senate. That means millions may lose insurance coverage and that thousands will die.
The president is still loving Putin, still lying nearly every day, still whipping up hatred against immigrants and “Others,” still poisoning the rivers and the air, and still cooking the coral, still getting ready for war, still ruining everything it can get its hands on with its coven of extremist advisers and conflict-of-interest opportunists who have overrun our capital.
But let’s acknowledge a nice gesture for what it is – a single point of light on an otherwise dark horizon. So thanks, Ryan Zinke. This could be the administrations single greatest accomplishment, and one program worth saving after the Worst is replaced after impeachment, declaration of incompetence, election or whatever The Force wishes.
In fact, maybe I’ll send a note to the 46th president right now.
Dear Madame President,
I am a sweet dog, who lives in Newport, R.I. and one your biggest fans.
Michelle, if I still can call you that, I am writing to see if you can find it in your heart – an enormous heart, for sure – to continue the pioneering program begun in the previous administration by Interior Secretary Zinke, whom I hope you will reappoint.
Because the world surely needs all the therapy we can provide, now that our long national nightmare, to borrow a phrase … .