DANGER SIGNS ABOUND as Chuck and Nancy dance with the Donald
“I’ll be short and to the point,” I was saying to Cat.
“Translation: Get ready for another IDL,” Cat said.
“What’s that?” I said.
“Interminable Deadly Lecture guaranteed not to either end soon or well,” Cat replied.
Ignoring what passes for feline ‘humor,' I plunged ahead.
“I just got back from a walk with the Grouchy One. It was one of those days you only experience in September, when summer is dying, but not just yet, so that each day is a gift you’d be wrong to squander
“The air coming off the ocean was sultry and mysterious. You could hear the waves splashing gently on the rocks on the shore below, where fishermen were casting not for fun, but for supper.
“A day when conditions were perfect for a girl with a great sense of smell to find what's left of birds or squirrels or woodchucks, marinating in a bacterial stew - creating delicious morsels of decay that make a lady like myself puke her guts out for days to come, but who cares at the time?”
“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Cat shouted, practically leaping off the couch, where he’d been sleeping since breakfast. “You said you were going to get to the damn POINT.”
“Like your president, Cat, I say lots of things,” I told him.
"HERE"S THE THING," I continued. Everywhere that Grouchy and I went, there were warning signs. All over the place. Couldn't miss them.
NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY.
DON'T FEED THE COYOTES.
STAY OFF THE ROCKS.
BEWARE OF ELECTRICAL SHOCKS.
DANGER. NO TRESPASSING.
“So, Phoebe, the signs were speaking directly to YOU?” Cat said, with a note of worry creeping into his voice.
“It got me to thinking about Trump and the Democrats, "I said. "It was like a series of warnings, ominous messages: Beware. Stand back. Be careful. Don’t go there.”
“I’ll tell you one thing,” Cat said. “You know how sometimes Humans will say: ‘That’s a smart dog.’ Well, you are proving once more that there’s no such thing as a smart dog," he said.
“Tell me this, Phoebe, what do ‘Don’t drown or get electrocuted’ signs in Newport, Rhode Island, have to do with what’s going on in in Washington DC?”
“They have everything to do with what the so-called Democratic leaders in Congress – Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi – are
doing: cutting deals with Trump about the debt ceiling, working out a plan to protect the DACA people who were brought to the U.S. as kids and who Trump and his supporters used to say they want deported.”
“Seems that’s what people voted for, getting things done,” Cat said. “Protect the innocent children. Make Washington work."
"LISTEN, CAT, you don’t do deals with someone like Donald Trump,” I said.
“Why not, if it gets you what you want?” Cat said.
“You don’t do deals with evil,” I said. “That’s the big lesson of World War II. You ever heard of Wilt Chamberlain? He’s the British prime minister who met with Adolph Hitler before the war and said England would be okay because Mr. Hitler promised to take over only part of Europe.”
“I think you mean Neville Chamberlain,” Cat said. “Wilt’s the basketball ….”
“Whatever. You don’t keep company with racists, Cat,” I said. “You literally can’t make agreements with liars. You don’t find common cause with the fan of Putin and the murderer who’s running the Philippines. You don’t make peace with a guy who Tweets about nuclear war. You don’t dine with someone who doesn’t care where you meals come from, the environment. Like the sign says: Don’t feed the coyotes!”
“Seriously, Cat? The Democrats are making Trump seem legitimate, the Deal Maker, not such a bad guy after all, right on some things, an Okay President.
"What's more, in the end Trump will probably renege, making fools out of Nancy and Chuck.”
“Well, lots of people would say that Nancy and Chuck know what they’re doing, more than some dog who doesn't know what not to eat,” Cat said.
“Here’s the thing, Cat. So far, the Democrats don’t have a good candidate to put up against Trump in 2020. They don’t have an inspiring message to persuade voters to throw out the Republicans in the 2018 midterm elections. Fact is, the only thing the Democrats can tell voters is that ‘We are better than Trump.’ Now, if they start hanging with The Donald, they throw away that argument, too.”
“You finished, Ms. Longest Lecturing Dog?” said Cat, wearily.
“Not quite, Mr. Appeaser Cat. Nancy and Chuck should remember that old saying: If you run with dogs who have fleas, you’ll be up all night scratching.’ ”
“Profound,” Cat sneered.
“But it makes you think, right?” I said.
“Nope,” Cat snapped. “Just itchy”