DANGEROUS TIMES
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DAY 1179

4/13/2020

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SICK OF TRUMP AND COVID-19?
THIS LATEST JOE BIDEN STORY
WON'T MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER

Are we willing to consider Biden's possible flaws the way we want Trump's Zombies to face up to his?

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PH0EBE, trying not to look through rose-colored glasses, or yellow ones, for that matter, at the man she hopes will take down Donald Trump
          (This posting has been revised, since Phoebe wasn't satisfied with her original version)
HERE’S SOMETHING to take your mind off the coronavirus crisis, although not in a good way if you’re as pained by the prospects of a Trump second term as by the terror of the pandemic.
   In case you haven’t picked up the story already, I’m sorry to be the messenger. I know my role as a “sweet” dog is to provide hope. But I have other duties, and I’d appreciate not being labeled a mad dog who needs a visit by animal control.
   Let me outline the basics in “objective” newspeak:
   A woman, who worked briefly on the staff of Joe Biden when he was a U.S. senator, says that he sexually assaulted her in the summer of 1993, pushing her against a wall of a Senate building, kissing her, then reaching under her skirt and penetrating her with his fingers.
   Tara Reade, who was 29 at the time, says that she rebuffed the assault, and Biden angrily rebuked her, saying: “Come on, Man, I heard you liked me,” and walked away. Reade says she filed a written complaint with the Senate, but never heard if it was acted on, and she was forced to leave her Capitol Hill job.
   Reade’s allegations surfaced in a story in the New York Times on Sunday, April 12, after the newspaper followed up on an emotional, hour-long interview Reade had with New York City podcaster Katie Halper on March 25. The Washington Post published a similar story.
   Biden, who has vanquished all other primary contestants for the Democratic presidential nomination, has not addressed Reade’s charges personally, at least as of this writing. But his campaign underlings vigorously denied them, as have people the Times interviewed who were on Biden’s Senate staff.
   Reade’s account is confirmed, according to news accounts, by at least two people – a friend and a brother – whom she told shortly after the alleged assault. Informing someone about an incident near the time it happened is a gold standard for journalists trying to determine the credibility of women accusing men of sexual crimes.
    This is not the first instance in which Reade has accused Biden publicly of inappropriate behavior. She was one of eight women who one year ago said that Biden touched and kissed them in ways that were invasive, demeaning and unwanted.
   At the time, Biden and associates said he was a person who famously expressed empathy and warmth physically, but now understood that customs and boundaries were changing, and that women had a right not to be touched and to have their concerns considered seriously.

AS USUAL in these kinds of cases, there's some ambiguity in Reade's story and thus reasons to challenge its truthfulness. But we’ve also learned in the Me-too Era that inconsistencies and “flaws” in victims’ stories can be the result of lifetime trauma caused by the incidents.  

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JOE BIDEN - Will he stand up to the latest allegations, and those sure to come?
   Here are some shortcomings:
  • Reade’s story has changed – “evolved,” to put it kindly – over the past year. Initially, she complained about Biden touching her, as well as about a remark she was told  Biden made to other staffers, that she had “nice legs.” But until now, she didn’t include the far more damning charge that he criminally penetrated her.
  • No one has determined that Biden has a history of criminal assaults – a pattern of behavior such as those ascribed to abusers like President Trump, convicted movie producer Harvey Weinstein and the late money-man Jeffrey Epstein. Abusers’ histories bolster individual accounts.
  • Reade has a ready answer for many of her story’s deficiencies. She didn’t disclose the sexual assault until now because it’s been too overwhelming for her to talk about; she was horrified by criticism following her first disclosure. She didn’t retain a personal journal that she wrote at the time, even though the assault upended her career and life.
  •  She has made comments praising Russian president Vladimir Putin, writing in a 2018, but now-deleted post on the online platform Medium: “… President Putin scares the power elite in America because he is a compassionate, caring, visionary leader. … To President Putin, I say keep your eyes to the beautiful future and maybe, just maybe America will come to see Russia as I do, with eyes of love.”
   Don’t laugh at this last point. I’m no Red-baiting capitalist pig running dog.
   Though Reade has disavowed them, her Russia comments remind us that Russia is continuing its assault against American democracy, just the way it maliciously supported Trump’s election in 2016, and concocted a phony story that Trump used as part of his impeachment defense.
   So, every time a story surfaces that could cause turmoil in American politics, it’s mandatory that it be treated skeptically, and I’m sure that the Times, the Post and other media outlets were wary of being duped by foreign or partisan mischief-making when they stepped into the Reade story.

   SO, PHOEBE, WHY BRING THIS UP? And now, of all times, in the middle of a pandemic?
   Those of us who think that Trump is the biggest threat to democracy ought to be willing to do what we’re asking Trump's Zombies to do: listen with an open mind. For example, thinking about these kinds of don’t-want-to-hear questions we constantly put to Trump’s supporters:
  • Why do you ignore Trump’s lies?
  • Can’t you see that Trump favors the rich? Hides his tax returns?
  • Don’t you care that Trump is poisoning your air and your water and promoting climate change?
  • When will you see that Trump already has killed thousands of people by bungling the response to COVID-19, by closing the borders to asylum seekers, by weakening Obamacare, limiting food stamps?
  • How can you call yourselves moral, God-fearing citizens when Trump has abused and sexually assaulted women, promoted racial hatred and bigotry, coarsened our public discourse?
  • People of Trump: You say you’re for “law and order,” but don’t care that the  president is appointing politically biased judges, pardoning war criminals, letting convicted public officials out of jail?
   I’m just saying that we in the sainthood have to be willing to do what we refused to do when Bill Clinton abused his power as president by having a sexual relationship with  a young  employee, and then giving the all-time-most-convincing-lie ever-told-on-television: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”
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POLITICS is no bed of roses, or whatever those things are that she's sitting in
 BUT THE STAKES ARE HIGH - TOO HIGH
   No, they’re not.
   It's not too late.
   It’s April 13, not Nov. 3. There’s time to change nominees.
   Let’s say Joe Biden, who’s 77, and therefore more likely than a younger person to get COVID-19 and die, the Democrats would, of course, pick a replacement. If it is proved that Biden, because of criminal conduct, is unfit for office, the same holds true.
   The primary produced debate stages filled with competent Democrats. The pandemic has spotlighted talented governors – Cuomo of New York, Inslee of Washington, Newsom of California, to name just three battle-tested leaders whose performances have shown Trump to be a snake-oil fraud. And there's second-place Bernie Sanders.
   Of course, there’s always the cynical rationalization we can turn to: So what?
   All presidents are flawed.  Kennedy was a womanizer. Truman dropped not one but two atom bombs on Japan. Obama backed away from his own red line. If it’s clear that Biden did just that one thing, just with his fingers, and just that one time, so what?
   But at least we would do that knowing as much as we can know and make an eyes-open, if shameful, decision.

   THERE’S PLENTY KNOWN SO FAR to both confirm and dispute Reade’s account.
   I don’t think someone should be believed simply because they may be a victim. Nor should anyone automatically be dismissed because their account can’t be proved in court, beyond a reasonable doubt.
   After looking at the Times story, Googling other stories and stuff that’s easily Googled, and reading and listening to and thinking about Reade's allegation, I’m not convinced. Not so far.

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DAY 1165

3/30/2020

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A LUCKY DOG TAKES A WALK
in a time of pandemic, Celebrating the Ordinary

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    WE SPEND a lot of time in this space worrying about the ways in which a cruel man is tearing apart our country because he managed to win an election and might do it again.
    But it shouldn’t take a microbe to tell us there is a lot more to our lives than Donald Trump.
    It shouldn’t be that way. But it is, and as the coronavirus pandemic closes in on our little corner of the Atlantic seacoast in Newport, R.I., I’ve been thinking about many things, but mainly that I’m a lucky dog.
    “Phoebe,” you say, “we think of you as a ‘sweet’ dog. What’s luck got to do with it?”
    Okay, try this.
    I live a couple of blocks away from one of the most famous mansions in the world. “The Breakers” was built by the Vanderbilt robber baron dynasty and has 70 rooms. Up to 1 million tourists pay to walk through it and nearby mansions every year.
    “But, you’re a dog, and they don’t let dogs in, so that’s lucky?”
    During the COVID-19 pandemic, nobody else is getting into The Breakers, either. Governor Gina Raimondo of Rhode Island, unlike Trump, is working hard to keep her voters alive. She's issuing tough love orders about “social distancing,” telling bars to close and restaurants to do only do take-out; advising New Yorkers fleeing to their summer homes to age-in-place for a couple of weeks after they get here, and telling people who favor crowds to "cut it out!"
    All I'm saying is that I live in a house the size of a grape, but within walking distance of The Breakers.
    On some days, like today, The Grouchy One and I walk to The Breakers and keep going to the Cliff Walk, which is behind the mansion and is another big tourist draw. It’s pretty spectacular, with jagged cliffs and the ocean on one side and a bunch of mansions on the other side, although none as humongous as The Breakers.
    All we have  to do is walk out the front door of the grape, turn left, keep going straight.
     “So, you live in a snooty place. You’re trying to rub it in?
    Not my point. It’s a fact that in a small state like Rhode Island, most people live minutes from the seacoast, a park, a forest, a river, Narragansett Bay or something similar. And then there’s the country itself, the United States of America, which turns out be a pretty good place to be. Lucky us.
     “Blah, blah, Phoebe. What’s the big deal?”

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THESE ARE DAYS when you or somebody you care about wakes up in the morning and realizes that's a good thing. Tomorrow is another matter, but it's not something you take for granted.
    You can hear it in the phone calls. The Humans have been on the phone a lot while waiting for the full force of COVID-19 to strike, sometimes using what they call the “speaker,” so they each can hear both sides of the conversations, and so can I.
    They talk to their “children,” who are actually grownups, and have been for a while, and with other members of the family, in Vermont and as far away as London. And they are talking with friends they used to work with or who were classmates in college. A lot of them are in their  70s and some in their 80s. They've all had other health issues, which is a qualification for membership in the coronavirus “vulnerable” club – Trump’s people use the  term "expendable.".
    Listening in, as dogs do, these conversations sound pretty ordinary, boring, in fact.
    Hello, what are you doing, how are you, am I calling at a good time, how’s the weather, the kids, the grandkids, what’s the weather like, been to the store lately, it’s raining here, again, what are you watching on Netflix, reading any good books, more rain tomorrow and can you believe what Trump said. The usual stuff.
     “You sure know how to do boring, Phoebe. Be a good girl and wrap things up.”
    Boring?
    That's what I thought, until I realized what’s different about these phone calls is that they aren't as much about hello as  goodbye.

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 IT'S MORNING. I wake up early. Then I get Grouchy up; drag him out the front door; we turn left, walk straight ahead and keep going.
    At The Breakers, the tall iron gates are  closed, a chain wrapped around the iron bars, secured by a padlock. We go to the Cliff Walk. Ocean waves are rolling in, still scary beautiful, even on a foggy day, but no one is around to see that, except us.
    On the way back, we go through my favorite park, which is popular  with lots of other dogs and their people. No one around today.  The playground swings and merry-go-round are wrapped in yellow caution tape, in case a visitor misses the PLAYGROUND CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE sign.
    My world is the same, but it's also different.
   Back home, The Nice One is having breakfast, and Grouchy begins fixing mine, which means pouring pellets from a container into into a bowl.
   Another day, a routine day, a good day, is getting underway but not taken for granted. Tomorrow is a question. Today, I'm a lucky dog.
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dAY 1160

3/26/2020

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A THERAPY DOG’S COVID-19 DILEMMA:
WHETHER TO TELL HIGH-RISK FRIENDS THE BAD NEWS - TRUMP’S RATINGS ARE RISING

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MY MAJOR JOB at our house is to keep a pair of Humans smiling and in good spirits.
   I have this trick, for example, of grabbing a tennis ball, then tossing it up in the air and chasing it around the living room. Grab. Toss. Chase. Gets a big laugh every time.
   But getting a chuckle out of my “client base” – I am a trained therapy dog – is increasingly difficult these days.
   Even in normal times, it’s harder to cheer up The Grouchy One than The Nice One, although she’s no Pollyanna when it comes to what’s wrong with the world, politics and that sort of thing.
   But with the coronavirus pandemic, my job is much harder.
   The bad numbers keep rolling in, as I’m sure you’re aware. And they are really alarming.
   No, not those numbers, the ones tracking the exponentially rising deaths and infections in New York City, which is just a few hours’ drive from our corner of paradise in Newport, R.I.
   The statistics I’m worried about are survey results the Gallup poll has been dribbling out all week.  In fact, I suspect Gallup is releasing them bit by bit because they are so distressing, so inexplicable, so hard on the stomach.
   Here’s a summary of Gallup’s serial (killer) reports:
  • Trump’s approval rating: Highest of his presidency at 49 percent.
  • His handling of the coronavirus crisis: 60 percent approval.
  • The country’s assessment of how news media is performing during the crisis: 55 percent disapprove; 44 percent approve; 1 percent, no opinion.
   How do you keep everyone laughing with numbers like that?
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MY FIRST LINE of defense may be to keep the poll results hidden for as long as possible.
   I know, you’re saying that as a blogger, whose writing is available to an international audience thanks to the Internet, that my primary responsibility is to get the news out quickly and accurately.
   But these people are my friends, as well as my clients.
   For heaven’s sake, don’t these poor Humans have enough on their minds without having to worry about whether the country is going stark raving mad?
   Here’s another number I have to consider: The Nice One and The Grouchy One are 77.
   It’s been years since they became eligible to join the AARP, granted that organization sets a low bar for membership, 50 years and up. But 77 (seventy-seven) is a big number. My Humans are no longer just senior citizens;  they’re senior, senior, senior citizens.
   That puts them at “high risk”  of being victims most endangered by the novel coronavirus. By the way, what’s with this “novel” bit? Why do they call it that? I thought novels are things you make into movies.
   My Humans have enough to consider without being burdened by the Gallup poll.
   It’s not out of the question that one of these days we’ll be rushing to our local ICU, where our troubles will just be starting, thanks to Donald J-for-Jerk Trump, whose ineptness means there’s not enough medical equipment to keep old folks chugging.
   I have these daydreams about my changing role in all of this. No longer a “sweet” dog, but now a wolf descendant, with a full set of teeth and claws on all four feet, I use my super sense of smell to find the supply room where the last ventilator is stored. Because I’m ready to do whatever it takes for these guys, and don't you think that I'm only the court jester around here.

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IT COULD BE that I’m getting ahead of myself. Nice and Grouchy are healthy old things.
   But still, that Gallup information is going be hard for them to swallow.
   Trump being rated 49 percent approval as president, and 60 percent on handling the virus business is beyond comprehension.
   You would think that his behavior at his daily TV briefing/campaign-rallies are Exhibit A for launching emergency impeachment proceedings. Rambling, incoherent, bumbling, he lies every day, berates, brags and violates the very social-distancing standards he’s supposed to be promoting by standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Doc Fauci, the vice president, surgeon general and his cast of sycophants.
   As usual, you can argue that his behavior is brilliant Trump-craft, that there’s a method and plan. Maybe he is hoping that Pence, whom he appointed to “lead” the administration’s virus program, will become infected, since the Veep has a better COVID-19 performance rating: 61 percent compared to Trump’s 60. And of course, Trump can’t abide Fauci, who can speak in complete sentences.
   But the fact that Trump is pushing to end the containment regimen and put America “back to work” is no laughing matter, unleashing a once unthinkable national debate about whether old people – nice and grouchy ones alike – are expendable in a trade-off between resuscitating the stock market or your grandma.
   It’s discouraging that 60 percent of Americans might agree with Trump, while 55 percent are critical of a news media that's telling them just how dangerous Trump has become.
   Granted, the Gallup numbers are confusing.
   For example, if a majority of survey respondents disapprove of the media’s performance, Gallup also reports that people are paying attention to news about coronavirus: 66 percent are following news “very closely,” and another 27 “somewhat closely.”
   Also, 51 percent expect the crisis to last months, while only 36 percent say it will take weeks to get back to normal, contrary to Trump’s Easter bunny fantasies of bringing an early halt to social distancing.

IN ANY CASE, you can see my dilemma.
   The coronavirus is something Nice and Grouchy can handle – they’re keeping a respectful distance from fellow Humans, washing their hands, wiping down door knobs. I’m betting they’ll survive the COVID-19 crisis.
   But if they learn that Trump may be on his way to a Second Term, I’m not so sure how that will hit their will to live.
   So, I’ll probably skip the Gallup reports for now and dig up some Peter, Paul and Mary, Kingston Trio and Joni Mitchel records to spin on their high fidelity turntable, and maybe I’ll do that tennis ball routine in the living room.
   Grab. Toss. Chase. That’ll get them smiling again.

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DAY 1151

3/16/2020

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CONFUSED BY THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS? A THERAPY DOG ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic, and the high levels of anxiety and stress created by the still-evolving outbreak, we have asked, Phoebe, BA, BS, PhD, MA, RI, CT, VT, MADOG to answer your questions about the medical and economic aspects of the crisis.  
   “Doc” Phoebe also writes a blog followed by an international readership so infinitesimal that it cannot be found by Google or any other search engine. Widely regarded as a quack and a fraud, she has been banned by every state regulatory body from giving advice for a fee or for free in any discipline, including but not limited to: volcanology, particle physics, impractical physics, marine science, etymology, criminology, idolatry and vacuum cleaner repair.


   QUESTION: I recently purchased a Mercedes S-Class 450. I took out a second mortgage to pay the $94,250 starting price, and still I can't afford to feed or otherwise care for my 11 children, all of whom are under the age of 3. Because of “social distancing,” I’ve also lost my job. I’m worried sick.
   DR. PHOEBE: I'm sorry to hear that. What are you worried about?
   QUESTION: Can the Mercedes become infected with COVID-19?
   ANSWER: As with many aspects of the novel coronavirus, there are factors we’re still learning about. Generally speaking, if your car is still under warranty, you’re safe. But if the warranty has expired, you’re out of luck. As usual.

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"DOC" PHOEBE in her office in Newport's mansion district. Notice the distance between the noted therapist and the chair reserved for her clients,the first of which she has yet to schedule.
   QUESTION: Are Republicans and Democrats equally susceptible to the coronavirus?
   ANSWER: Yes. And no. Yes, Republicans are more likely to become ill if they are members of the "Dine With Devin Club."  Recently, Rep. Devin Nunes, Republican of California, distanced himself from “social distancing” prescribed by health officials to slow the pace of the infection by staying away from large groups in places like restaurants and bars. Nunes was having none of it. "If you're healthy, you and your family, it's a great time to go out and go to a local restaurant,” Nunes said on national TV. “Let's not hurt the working people in this country ... go to your local pub.”
   No, if you’re a "Breakfast With Bernie" Democrat. Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders is a champion social distancer. So, while Sanders may not survive his primary fight with former Vice President Joe Biden to win the Democratic nomination, he's likely to live another day to eat by himself in the Senate cafeteria. Turns out he’s just as grumpy in person as he is on the campaign trail, so much so that his fellow Senators reportedly won’t dine with him. Good for them. Good for Bernie.

   QUESTION: I’m worried about running out of toilet paper. And the stores shelves are empty because of panic buying and hoarding. What should I do?
   ANSWER: Personally, I've never seen the need.

   QUESTION: But as a therapist, you certainly don’t condone panic-buying and hoarding?
   ANSWER: Of course not. While it is understandable that we fear going hungry, we must learn to think of ourselves as members of a community, not just individuals, recognizing that each person’s actions affects the greater village. For example, you’re cruising the supermarket, and in the freezer section you see that there are only 10 tubs remaining of Breyer’s Natural Vanilla,  “made with fresh cream, milk and sugar.” As a responsible and ethical citizen, who knows that many others also crave Breyer's Natural Vanilla, and summoning all of your willpower, you limit yourself to taking just 9 of the 10 tubs.

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A MODEL of patience and calm, Doc Phoebe waits for her first client at her office, located outdoors, another example of her commitment to social distancing.
   QUESTION: Is President Trump responsible for the United States’ slow response to the crisis, because he disbanded a national pandemic preparedness unit; violated “social distancing” advice by shaking hands with and standing close to CDC and business officials at a televised news conference; and by lying about, belittling and minimizing the danger of the virus threat?
    ANSWER: Yes.
   QUESTION: Does that mean that the Republicans and other people – who up to now have blindly believed everything he says and helped him carry out his cruel agenda that mistreats asylum-seekers and furthers climate change – will change their minds about him?
   ANSWER: No.
   QUESTION: Why?
   ANSWER: It’s a mystery to me.
   QUESTION: But Doc, you’re a world famous pundit and therapist. Why don’t you have the answers to the questions that I and millions of other Americans are asking?
   ANSWER: Because these are weird and strange times. For which I say, thank goodness.
   QUESTION:  What’s good about it?
   ANSWER: It’s good if you’re a therapist.

   QUESTION: Doc, I fell asleep during what could be the final debate in the Democratic primary, as Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden "discussed" whether then-General Washington offered Medicare for all as a show of good faith to the troops he implored to stay the course at Valley Forge. Am I a bad civic citizen for nodding off?
   ANSWER: You are a patriot. And a well-adjusted one. You served your country well, because medical experts tell us that one of the best ways to weather the COVID-19 storm is to remain healthy as possible, including getting a good night's sleep. Plus, anyone who sat through the whole thing was either paid to do so or crazy. A grateful nation thanks you!

   QUESTION: Dr.Phoebe, do you have any other advice for me and other American's trying to cope with the coronavirus pandemic?
   ANSWER: As a matter of fact: If you or a friend happen to be in a supermarket, and you spot a fresh supply of "Natural Balance Limited Ingredient Diet Chicken & Sweet Potato Formula," in cans with a green label and small silhouette  of a dog, phone my office immediately. We have a crew on standby 24-7, plus a truck capable of transporting up to 50 cases of 12 cans each. We can be there in a matter of minutes.

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DAY 1132

2/26/2020

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 TIME TO STOP TREATING BERNIE AS THE BAD GUY
   which Democrat has a better chance of beating Trump?

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I KNOW YOU’RE HUNGRY for good news, so I’m happy to bring it to you.
   Let me assure you that you’re not alone in freaking out because of the imminent calamity  that is about to be visited upon a fearful and anxious nation.

   You know what I’m talking about:
  • The continuing spread of coronavirus, which is killing thousands, sickening millions and worse, is unnerving the stock market?
  • The break-off of another iceberg - the size of a) Texas, b) Rhode Island or c) Dixville Notch - from the Pine Island Glacier in Antarctica, accelerating sea level rise around Mar-a-Lago?
  •  Another price hike for Amazon Prime?
   None of the above. It’s about a cranky, white-haired 78-year-old arm-waving, high-volume Senator from Vermont.
   We're talking, of course, about Bernie Sanders.
   And what did  Bernie do? Did he boast that he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue, blast away with a gun and get away it? Pardon a war criminal? Force refugees  back into the clutches of their would-be murderers? Draw a phony weather map?
   Nope, worse. He won the Nevada caucuses, and won big. And that’s after eking out the popular vote in the Iowa caucuses (So, so long ago), and barely winning the New Hampshire primary.
   All of which, if you watched the candidates'  shameful screamfest yesterday in South Carolina, really has Bernie's fellow Communists, oops, I mean socialists, no that’s not right, either - has his brother and sister Democrats struggling with how to deal with their multiple stages of grief.
   Rather than congratulating the former Congressman and now Senator, and instead of cheering the 705,580 people who have donated to his campaign, his  fellow Comm … candidates, the Democratic Establishment (Someday, somebody will tell me exactly what that consists of) and the entire National Academy of Political Pundits,  set upon him with a fury  usually reserved for unindicted real estate cheats  and convicted movie molesters.
   Panic everywhere, like this Politico headline:

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Now, it’s bad enough that our spy agencies report that the Russians are trying to help Sanders, whom they've designated as a surefire loser in their plan to engineer Komrade Trump's second term .
   But it really seems like everyone else, except the voters, is out to get The Bern.
   “Look, if you want to keep the House in Democratic hands,” ex-South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg scolded Sanders during the debate, “you might want to check with the people who actually turned the House blue: 40 Democrats who are not running on your platform. They are running away from your platform as fast as they possibly can.”
   Mike Bloomberg, ex-mayor of an actual city, played the Russia card: “Vladimir Putin thinks that Donald Trump should be president of the United States, and that's why Russia is helping you get elected: So that you lose to him.”
   So, Sweet Dog, what's the good news?
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SANDERS at a 2015 rally. CREDIT: Creative Commons license
 THE GOOD NEWS is that I actually live with a grumpy, loudmouthed, almost 78-year-old from Vermont. And I’m here to tell you that it can be done.
   It’s not easy. But it’s possible.
   One of my two Humans here in Rhode Island - The Grouchy One - was actually born in Vermont, in the cute little college town of Middlebury, which is just down the road from the city of Burlington, where Sanders once was mayor.
   Now, it’s also true that the other Human at our house is The Nice One, and with patience and good humor, she goes a long way to overcome the many hurdles of living with someone who yells all day at the radio and TV; whose idea of a conversation is: “What, Phoebe? You want to go out again? We were JUST out.”  Or, “Stop barking at the mail lady, that’s MY job.”
   But underneath, The Grouchy One is, well, grouchy.
   So give him credit for consistency, which is just one of the reasons that so many people, especially young people, are devoted to Bernie.  He’s authentic in that he used to be unpleasant and still is, and that his beliefs have changed very little since the early days when he was among the signers of the Declaration of Independence. (Note to Democratic debaters: that's a joke).
   Anyway, I've survived almost eight years with a grouchy Vermonter; and I'm betting that the country cand do the same with Bernie and be much the better for it, assuming he ages in place for that long in the White House.


NOW, LET’S GET one thing straight. Bernie is not my man. My man is Amy Klobuchar, because The Nice One and I think it’s time for a “good girl,” to put it in dog terms, to be president, and of the remaining candidates, she’s got the right temperament – pleasant, but not too pleasant – plus the experience as a prosecutor and longtime Senator, with broad appeal that can pull together all sorts of Democrats.
   But let’s say Bernie does become the nominee. Is that so bad?
   If you're e a Democrat or a left-leaning Independent, what's not to like about the issues that Bernie is pushing?
   Are you against healthcare for everyone? Do you oppose housing, food, a job, good pay for everybody? Are you upset with the idea of a humane immigration policy?
   I challenge anyone with a heart to go to www.berniesanders.com and find one single thing they don’t like there, other than having to pay for Bernie campaign swag.
   Speaking of swag, while you’re at the website, look up one of the tote bags that no NPR-loving liberal can resist. It has this relevant slogan: “Keep calm and vote. Bernie”.  The tote is only $18, but I suppose you're asking how we all are supposed to pay for the rest of what Bernie's is selling.
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   Let's be clear, the whole question of how the country pays for a new program is a question you only ask only when you don’t like the person who’s proposing the program. Nobody has the slightest interest in any plan to pay down the national debt, which none of us - Republicans included - understands or cares to learn about even if anyone tries to explain it to us.
   But here’s one idea from the Phoebe Thought Factory: putting millions of people to work building roads and houses and solar panels and taking care of the elderly and auditing rogue real estate dealers’ tax returns and all the other union-grade jobs Bernie’s programs would create, meaning lots of new taxpayers and lots more revenue from people who already paying.
   
 NOW, ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. Which is to say that every critic seems to take it as Gospel that if Bernie is the nominee, that means he'll be responsible for a horrendous loss, and not just of the White House, but the House, the Senate and probably the entire Burlington City Council.
   What about that “Democratic Socialist” target that Bernie has slapped onto his own back and that he’ll stick onto all the other Democrats, making them easy pickins' for Trump’s troops of gun-toting goons?
   That's actually an easy answer: Russia-loving, Putin-kiss-up Donald Trump, whose best pen pal is Kim Jong-un, is going to call every Democrat a socialist no matter whom he runs against.
   And another thing – Don’t cut me off, I still have some time left – just like yesterday, just like today, and just like tomorrow,  Donald J. Trump is the odds-on favorite to win the Nov. 3 election unless he does something truly bad, like running naked around Fifth Avenue wearing Stormy Daniels’ panties on his head, and even then we can’t be sure.
   He’s riding high on a supposedly strong economy. The Gallup Poll says 90 percent of Americans are satisfied with their lives. His “approval” rating is in the upper 40s, and probably higher than that, since lots of hidden Trump supporters lie to pollsters.
   But it's possible that Bernie, with his enthusiastic base and his solid Democratic aspirations may be best chance to defeat Trump, and the doomsayers, The Establishment and the Russians are plain wrong.
   Do you seriously think Tommy, Amy, Mikey, Petey, Lizzie or Joey has a better chance than Bernie of taking down the worst president in history?
   By the way, RealClearPolitics, which averages various polls, has Sanders beating Trump by more than 4 percentage points in a national matchup, granted that kind of speculative survey has limited value.
   Finally, here is more advice from a dog who is close to the grassroots and whose ancestors roamed the wilderness in packs:
   Things do not go well when members of the family turn on one another, as they did at last night’s yell-and-interrupt cage match, instead of coming together before the big and bad wolf eats all of us alive.
   So, if we can get Michelle Obama to run as Bernie’s vice president, or better still, reverse the order if there's no dominant nominee by the time the Democratic National Convention rolls around.
   Well, a girl can dream, can’t she?
   Yes, she can. And yes, she should.

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GREEN MOUNTAINS near where The Grouchy One grew up in Middlebury, Vt. Not clear from this photo why they call them "green."
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DAY 1123

2/17/2020

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STILL WAITING FOR THE PERFECT CANDIDATE?
What if there is no such Thing? And holding out helps donald trump?   

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   HERE’S THE THING: I’m just a dog, but I’ve been thinking about the perfect candidate.
   Frankly, this is something that you should not leave to a dog. But given the childish way Democrats are fighting among themselves, finding fault with anyone who seems to be getting ahead in either the polls or early primaries, I must jump in with all four paws.
   I do have a suggestion for the perfect candidate.
  •    My candidate is authentically, unquestionably “green.”
  •    This candidate has never said a bad word about anybody or anything. No gotcha tape recording, hot-mic wisecrack, no yearbook ethnic slur or disciplinary record as a Second Grader waiting to be unearthed.
  •    Our candidate flourishes when talked to, just loves to listen and never, ever talks back.
  •    The candidate is gender neutral (as far as a non-scientist can tell).
  •    The candidate can easily be moved to the left, to the right, to the middle, as conditions warrant.
  •    This candidate, at a time of governmental secrecy, loves the sunlight,
  •    Our candidate doesn’t have a “vision," but pledges to “do no harm,” while in office (or out of office).
   Who is it?
   The answer is not “who” but “what.”
   Our perfect candidate is a potted plant. 
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IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE IDEA of a Christmas cactus or a geranium leading the Democrats into the Nov. 3 election, then you are going to have to live with the alternative: someone who’s in the race.  And sad to be the barker of bad news here, each man and woman currently in the field is flawed.
   She or he has something about him or her that somebody doesn’t like.
   In fact, for the people who are in the race for the Democratic nomination, they have only one attribute to recommend them: they are not Donald J. Trump.
   Here’s the thing.…
   (By the way, are you as sick as I am of hearing that phrase – “Here’s the thing” – which is what candidates say when they want you to know that they’re talking straight and simple, but it never turns out that way)

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ANYWAY, HERE’S THE THING: the Democrats don’t have a superstar candidate. It’s been the problem since Trump’s election in 2016.
   The Democratic superstars are out of the picture:
   Barack Obama – not available, per the Constitution’s two-term limit.
   Michelle Obama –  also unavailable (so she says).
   That’s the entire supply.
   Which leaves a whole bunch of people that many, even lots of voters aren’t crazy about. They have great potential; and they are imperfect.
   But take it from a dog, who is here today to tell you not to be too picky.
   I, too, once faced imperfect choices. After being rounded up as a stray puppy in Missouri, I was brought to a Rhode Island shelter, where the options were limited: Choice A – I could move in with a bunch of strangers about whom I knew nothing, including how they smelled and whether they had terrible taste in TV shows; or Choice B – I could hold out for something better to come along, but risk eventually disappearing in a puff of smoke, literally.
   Choice A indeed was not perfect: One of the Humans was known – for good reason – as “The Grouchy One;” but another inhabitant was “The Nice One,” and let's be clear, those don't come along very often.
   And that’s where we as a country find ourselves today.
   We can either get behind an imperfect Democrat; or wait for the perfect plant and let the country go up in smoke.

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IT’S NOT A GIVEN that we’re going to make the right choice
   Every time one Democrat or another seems to be making some headway, in the primary voting so far or in the opinion polls, the immediate result is to go on the attack and focus on the person’s wretched flaws and unsavory history.
   Take Mike Bloomberg. After spending millions upon millions upon millions on TV ads that are making him a household name, two things have happened: he’s come up in the polls, some of which show him beating Trump; the other thing involves “revelations” coming fast and furious, showing him to have been a foul-mouthed and sexist CEO of the media company that made him a gazzilionaire; and to have been a New York City mayor who backed a policing policy that victimized young black citizens.
   The Washington Post last week unearthed a 32-page booklet complied in 1990 by an executive at his media company for the occasion of his 48th birthday, “The Wit and Wisdom of Michel Bloomberg.”
   Here’s an example, in a section about how to be a successful salesperson:
   “Make the customer think he’s getting laid when he’s getting fucked.”
   And another knee-slapper:
   “A good salesperson asks for the order. It’s like the guy who goes into a bar, and walks up to every gorgeous girl there, and says ‘Do you want to fuck?’ He gets turned down a lot – but he gets fucked a lot, too!”
   Any positives here? Only one I can think of is that if Dirty-Mouth Mike does become Presentable President Mike, his speechwriters won’t have to look far for material for his inaugural address.
   We might mention, without excusing the destructive atmosphere that Bloomberg seems to have condoned and promoted at his company, that booklet wasn’t limited to gutter talk. Other sayings from Chairman Mike included:
   “There are two things I’d love to do – have more birthdays and pay more taxes. If you have more birthdays, it’s obviously because you haven’t died yet, and if you pay more taxes, it’s clearly because you’re making more money.”
   Or this one:
   “When I was growing up in Boston, we always used sterling silver at all our meals. All my friends’ mothers used stainless steel flatware. We weren’t any better off than my friends’ families. So I asked my mother why we did this. She told me: ‘Use your best for the people who matter the most.’”

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SO, HERE’S THE THING: If Mike Bloomberg turns out to be the person most likely to beat Donald Trump, does what he said in “Wit and Wisdom” disqualify him from running against Trump?
   And what of the others?
   Is Bernie Sanders out because of his self-imposed label as a “socialist” and because he looks like a B-movie’s wild-haired mad scientist?
   Is Elizabeth Warren too shrill, going downhill too fast, fast and faster?  Can’t stomach Amy Klobuchar’s mid-Western casseroles and how mean she is to her staff?
    Is Mayor Pete “Smalltown” Buttigieg too gay, not gay enough, too reminiscent of early TV’s Howdy Doody? Is Joe Biden too old, too addled, too yesterday?
   We do have choices this year.
   We can choose an actual person, any person still in the nomination race, any one of whom has real talent, real flaws, and real potential to defeat Donald Trump and possibly go on to be one of the great presidents.
   Or we can wait for the perfect candidate.
   We have one you'll like at our house, waiting patiently on a stool or windowsill, with the rest of our  potted plants. 
    And here's the thing, they're all perfect.

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DAY 1110

2/4/2020

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AFTER THE IOWA FIASCO, AFTER THE IMPEACHMENT DEBACLE,THERE’S A NEW GALLUP POLL …
   The Democrats' Dog Days Drag on

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I DON’T KNOW WHY I am bothering you with this. Maybe it’s because I have to go to the vet today for my annual checkup, and I’m in a “mood.”
   The last time someone in our house went to the vet, it was Cat, and, as you know, he didn’t come back.
   Actually, my vet is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, and I believe she also knows what she’s doing, unlike the Democrats in Iowa, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
   The veterinarian knows a lot about keeping me up and running, which is important, since I’m getting up there in dog years. As I understand it, you no longer multiply a dog’s age by 7 to get to the Human equivalent.  Still, 10 is 10 for dogs, just like 70 is 70 for two-leggers.
   Enough about me.
   I’m guessing that you got up this morning irritable and exhausted, because nobody – nobody decent – has had a full night’s sleep for the last 1,110 nights. And first thing, what slapped you in the face? More Bad News. Again.

 IT WASN’T ABOUT
the state-of-the-union talk – that’s tonight.  This morning’s punch in the puss was that after years and years of anticipation, the Iowa caucuses were held last night, in Iowa. But as of breakfast, and as of lunch, for that matter, there were no results.
   I suspect the Russians. Again.
   But what do dogs know?  The “experts” say it was merely a run-of-the-mill screw-up, that Iowanian Democrats were using a new “app” they didn’t know how to use to count results from the 15-trillion places in which caucus-goers caucus.  The app didn’t work at first. Not a surprise to anyone with a smart phone.
   You don’t have to be Donald Trump to twist the knife by pointing out the obvious: If Democrats can’t count their own votes, how are they going to run the country? Democrats might put it differently: If we can’t count our own votes, how are we going to get Donald Trump out of the White House?
    Actually, it’s worse than that.
   That’s because Iowanians didn’t care enough to turn out in the most important election-like thing so far (meaning it was the first one). According to the Washington Post’s Karen Tumulty, it’s possible that only 170,000 voters showed up, compared to 240,000 in 2008 when Barack Obama won big.
   That’s a disaster, because the one thing everyone is counting this year is that there will be a huge outpouring of Democrats and Independents determined to send Trump back his gaudy estates, no matter who runs against him.

   BUT THAT’S NOT the Bad News I’m about to drop on you.
   It showed up in our email in-box this morning, and right here we should advise people who “Can’t Take It Anymore" to stop reading and immediately seek medical treatment from their vet or other provider.
   Gallup says when 946 people were asked this question Jan. 16 to 29 – “Do you approve or disapprove of the way Donald Trump is handling his job as president?” – this percentage gave the wrong answer:
                                                                49 %
   Gallup says that is the highest approval rating Trump has ever had since he was sworn in 1,110 days ago.
   Which is to say that after telling 16,241 lies (“False or Misleading Claims” is the term the Washington Post’s lie-counters use to define his lies) – and those figures don’t include the whoppers he’ll tell tonight; after locking children in cages at the border, pulling the country out of the world climate change accords, breaking the nuclear arms agreement with Iran and assassinating one of their leaders; after his racist slurs, after pardoning a war criminal, after siphoning military construction funds to build his “wall,” after kowtowing to the Kremlin and after trying to extort Ukrainian leaders to agree to “investigate” a potential political rival in exchange for military aid, Trump gets a 49 percent pat on the back, and the trend is that Trump's ratings have been going up.
   If you want the glass half-full, Gallup says that 50 % of respondents “disapprove” of the job Trump is doing and 1 % have “no opinion,” which doesn't seem possible, having no opinion.
   Anyway, with all the other things that are going on this week, you may have missed this tidbit. and I wanted to get it to you before tonight’s state-of-the-union speech and tomorrow’s vote by the Senate, in which Trump will be exonerated after being impeached in the House in connection for that Ukrainian business.
   Anyway, I’m off to the vet’s. Wish me luck.
   On the other hand, if you’re a Democrat, with the way things are going, maybe you better not.

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Day 1108

2/2/2020

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HOW DO REPUBLICANS SLEEP AT NIGHT?
Second thoughts on Trump's impeachment

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THIS IS THE SECOND version of this blog post.
   I threw out the first one, which was better written, had better pictures, better headlines and maybe a more satisfying conclusion. The problem with it was it wrong and made me ashamed.
   It did come from the heart, and I think some people might have said it reflected how they are feeling as the impeachment and trial of Donald Trump – perhaps the last serious challenge to his outlaw presidency – is coming to a close.
   When Trump is acquitted later this week, he’ll be in a much stronger position than when the process started. His control over government will be more powerful perhaps than any president in history; and his already favorable odds of winning a second term will be improved.
   At least that’s how it seems today.
   You can argue that the impeachment episode will give voters one more reason to throw Donald Trump out of the White House when the Nov. 3 election rolls around.
   Across the land, millions of sleepless Americans face every morning distressed, depressed and disgusted by a president who’s out to destroy the values and reforms that make the United States a country which, despite its terrible and aberrant flaws, many of us cherish.
   But it sure doesn’t feel like that will happen. Instead, impeachment seems to be turning out to be one more example of Donald Trump’s astonishing run of good luck, just the way a fiendish cartoon character escapes one perilous calamity after another.
   All thanks to Republicans who control the U.S. Senate.

THAT WAS SORT OF THE THEME of the now-discarded blog post that I had written first: If nothing else, impeachment had taught us this lesson about Republicans, "they’re “bad.”
   I even had arranged for a clever picture to be taken, showing me sitting at the top of our hallway stairs, looking smugly down at the final three steps, each posted with a sign:
   “Republicans”
   “Are”
   “Bad”
   The trouble is that it’s not true. It’s not true in the Senate or the House of Representatives. It’s not true in the 50 states, the Red ones or the Blue ones. Not true in your county, your city, your town, and not in my neighborhood.
   That kind of blanket dismissal, labeling a group of people, is bigotry. It’s where racism starts. It’s how Donald Trump thinks and talks. It’s wrong.
   Sure, I’m a “sweet” dog, but I took the bait and thought and talked like Donald Trump.
   I happen to know some Republicans, and mostly I like them. Some are neighbors. I meet Republicans on my daily walks, including those who stuff their pockets with dog treats. I can assure you that Republican dog treats are as tasty as Democratic treats.
    It's still a mystery why some Republicans can like both me and Donald Trump, since Trump is too selfish to care of a dog. I know some Republicans who both own dogs AND voted for Donald Trump. I’m sure you have had the same sort of experiences with Republicans, minus the treats.
   This is the real disappointment of impeachment.
   A lot of us hoped some Republicans would stand up to Donald Trump. But our hearts were broken, just like they were on Election Night, 2016, when we learned that our neighbors, friends and relatives had voted for a foul-mouthed, heartless fool whose campaign was built on hatred and phony promises.
   Since not all Republican are alike, why didn't some of them push back last week?

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 ACTUALLY, TWO DID, in what turned out to be the only dramatic chapter in the impeachment process, when the issue of whether to hear the testimony of witnesses came up.
   To be honest, and I think dogs should try to set an example here, the witnesses weren’t going to say anything truly new. It was already clear that Trump betrayed his office by trying to extort the new president of Ukraine - withholding military aid his country needed to fight Russia until Ukraine announced it would investigate a potential Trump political rival.
   But the real effect of witness hearings would be to drag out the Senate trial and scare the bejeezus out of Trump, and then who knew what might happen.
   All that was needed was four Republicans to vote with the 47 Senators who vote Democratic.
   Only Utah’s Mitt Romney and Maine’s Susan Collins did. The other 51 Republicans chickened out.
   There were two other possible Republican defectors, and their statements show, again, that Republicans aren’t all alike.
   Lisa Murkowski of Alaska gave what I thought was a bogus excuse for staying with the pack, blaming Democrats for a “rushed and flawed” case for the Senate to consider:
   "Given the partisan nature of this impeachment from the very beginning and throughout, I have come to the conclusion that there will be no fair trial in the Senate. I don't believe the continuation of this process will change anything. It is sad for me to admit that, as an institution, the Congress has failed."
   On the other hand, Lamar Alexander of Tennessee gave a slightly more credible explanation: that Democrats had proved their case, but the offense wasn’t impeachable, and, with the election only months away, ousting the president might produce a terrible spit in the country:
   “There is no need for more evidence to prove that the president asked Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden and his son, Hunter; he said this on television on October 3, 2019, and during his July 25, 2019, telephone call with the president of Ukraine. ... the House managers have proved this with what they call a ‘mountain of overwhelming evidence’ … If this shallow, hurried and wholly partisan impeachment were to succeed, it would rip the country apart, pouring gasoline on the fire of cultural divisions that already exist.”

 I HOPE YOU DON’T THINK I’ve gone soft on Republicans.
   The Republican Senate is solely responsible for putting our country on the road to dictatorship by betraying the Constitution’s promise that Congress – the Senate and the House – will keep the president honest.
   Instead, lots of people are going to blame the Democrats  for “losing” the impeachment fight, just like Maureen Dowd did in today’s New York Times, implying that Democrats are sissies by letting Republicans win:
   “I feel like I have spent my career watching the same depressing dynamic that unspooled Friday night: Democrats trying, sometimes ineptly, to play fair and Republicans ruthlessly trying to win… .  As with so many other pivotal moments in modern history, Republicans wanted to win, not look for the truth. And history, God help us, is written by the winners.”
   To which I say: God help us, Ms. Dowd, what choice do Democrats or anyone else have but to “play fair?” Is the answer a Democratic Donald Trump?
   The question we should be putting to Republicans, because it’s just as much their responsibility as it is for Democrats to stand up to a dangerous president, is this: What are Republicans going to do when Trump, now freed from Congressional oversight, tries out one of his most famous ideas, shooting somebody in the middle of Fifth Avenue?
    Stated differently:
   “How do Republicans sleep at night?”

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Day 1091

1/16/2020

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A GRATUITOUS REFERENCE TO RACE. AND
A LESSON I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO RELEARN

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PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA in the Oval Office in 2012 with Bo, who was not the least of the First Family's charms. CREDIT: Official White House Photo by Pete Souz
RACE IS A DIFFICULT SUBJECT. It’s easy to take a wrong turn, even for a supposedly “sweet” hound. But one of my most treasured readers has pointed out that’s what I did in my “Tracking Trump - Day 1090” posting yesterday.
   This is my attempt to put things back on course.
   The blog post was headlined:
    2020 DEMOCRATS: Exciting as broccoli. But each one is a healthy choice.
   The veggie theme grew out of my initial disappointment in the blandness of the winnowing Democratic field, showcased in the Jan. 14 TV debate. I wrote that the panel’s charisma was equivalent to that of broccoli and other veggies, as opposed to the menu that  Donald Trump’s cooked up for his “Base.”
   I noted the excitement generated by iconic past Democratic presidents:

 While Donald Trump has been feeding his supporters red meat for the last three years, we all expected the Democrats would produce a sumptuous candidate – a rare Franklin D. Roosevelt, a well-bred Jack Kennedy, a nicely-browned Barack Obama.
   I’ve underlined the problem area that prompted my reader’s critique, which she began on a kindly note, saying the piece was “well written:”
    "I’m wondering if it’s a poor choice of words however to call Obama nicely browned. It’s just for the other two presidents you mentioned, there is no racial sounding adjective yet an obvious one for Obama. I just don’t think it’s necessary to the story line and I think it’s best if possible to always avoid any adjective with a racial tinge unless you are tackling the issue directly and critically."
   She got that right. I’ve redone the paragraph, hoping to maintain the food references, minus the tasteless attempt to mix humor and race. The changes are highlighted: 

While Donald Trump has been feeding his supporters red meat for the last three years, we all expected the Democrats would produce a sumptuous candidate – a rare Franklin D. Roosevelt, a high-protein Jack Kennedy, a refreshing Barack Obama.
 I OFFER THE FOLLOWING as an explanation for my original wording, not to excuse the blunder, but because when it comes to race, it may help to be transparent, if that’s possible.
   Obama is a hero in our house, and part of our fury at Trump is the comparison to the man who preceded him. Obama is an eloquent, principled and charming man, whose every moment in the White House seemed an attempt to unite and advance the country; he failed sometimes, but presidents are imperfect. By contrast, Trump is a barbaric, racist and cruel huckster, out to divide and destroy the country he promised to make “great,” and as a sideline, to obliterate Obama’s every accomplishment.
   By including Obama in the pantheon of Democratic greats, I wanted to acknowledge the obvious landmark established when the country not once, but twice, elected a man of color, something that still is astonishing and inspiring.
   The “nicely browned” description was meant to be serious and lighthearted simultaneously (itself a danger sign to a writer), by continuing the food references, and, in referring to his color, assigning the word "nicely" to double-duty, since it was a positive that he’d been elected.
   Also, I was thinking about the disappointing turn of events, in which the 2020 candidate field is steadily losing diversity, with the most recent debate stage featuring an all-white lineup. I thought mentioning Obama’s color was a subtle dig at that failing .
   But my critic is correct in pointing out that nowhere else in the text was race and diversity brought up, and therefore that single reference indeed was gratuitous.
   I should have done initially what I’ve tried to do now, relearning the lesson that a writer should avoid trying to be clever with a subject that is so personal and hurtful to so many people, and that continues to be so destructive to our national aspirations.

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Day 1090

1/15/2020

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THE 2020 DEMOCRATS:
      As exciting as broccoli.
      But Each One a healthy choice

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(This posting has been updated).
ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S
Democratic presidential debate, I realized this morning that if dogs had the vote, I absolutely, in no way, under no circumstances, would relish voting for Joe Biden.
   For starters, I just don’t like him. Do you? Be honest. His only claim to fame is fame. People know his name. Not because he’s smarter, bolder, braver than anyone else who’s running. He was Barack Obama’s vice president and good buddy. That’s it.
   But I’d vote for Joe Biden.
   The same reason I eat the kibble that My Humans plop down in front of the kitchen radiator, a warm space, even if the food isn’t so hot.
   I eat things I don’t like to stay alive. And I’d vote for Joe Biden to keep democracy alive.
   Think of this year’s crop of Democratic candidates as vegetables. They aren’t the first thing most of us would look for on any menu. But they are good for you. And when you’re a grownup, it’s what you do. You eat your broccoli, your carrots, celery and your kibble.
   Consider the annoying Food Pyramid, which has been put out in various forms over the years. Most of the structure is stuff you don't look forward to, while right at the tippy-top, which can be seen only with binoculars, is a tiny, juice steak.

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WHAT’S THE FOOD PYRAMID have to do with this year’s elections?
  
   While Donald Trump has been feeding his supporters red meat for the last three years, we all expected the Democrats would produce a sumptuous candidate – a rare Franklin D. Roosevelt, a high-protein Jack Kennedy, a refreshing Barack Obama.
           
*** (See note at the end of story about revisions in the above paragraph.) ***
   The Democrats who took to the debate stage last night constituted an all vegetarian crew, and not in great variety.
   It’s a letdown. But it’s reality. And we’re going to have to act like responsible grownups and do the right thing. We're going to have to select one of them.

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Joe Biden
 BACK TO BIDEN. He’s decidedly the blandest. It doesn’t help that he’s so old that in veggie terms, he'd be headed for the compost bin. He’s 77 now, and if he’s elected, he’ll be 78.
   You’re turning up your nose, aren’t you? Phoebe’s being an ageist. You’d think a liberal could do better. But let’s not pretend. We all start off young, then we die and the final years aren’t pretty.
   Sure, some people age more slowly and better than others. But face facts. Can Joe stay the course another four years, or will we be actually be voting for his vice president, again someone not the most savory choice, since that will be Joe's decision?
   Age aside, Joe Biden is so yesterday. He doesn’t have a clue about the urgency of climate change or how to address the looming loss of jobs in tomorrow’s robot economy, or what to do with an increasingly frightening and technologically repressive China.
   Still, I’d vote for Joe Biden in a New York minute. He means well; has lots of experience; and we’d be lucky to have him, considering the nauseous alternative.

Bernie Sanders
Elizabeth Warren
Pete Buttigieg
Amy Klobuchar
 SAME WITH BERNIE.
   Sanders is even older. He’s already 78 and when sworn in, he’ll be 79. Then there’s that heart attack thing last year; no chance of that happening again....
   My real problem with Sanders is that I simply cannot imagine him in the White House. It’s that Mad Professor show he puts on. All that shouting and waving his arms around, the crazy white hair.  Which is unfair and childish on my part, and I really do know better.
   There’s a lot to admire about Sanders. No empty calories. He’s inspired a new generation of voters, and for good reason. The socialist makes a lot of sense. I mean, who doesn’t want to go to the vet or the doctor when necessary and not have to take out a second mortgage?
   Of course, I’d vote for Bernie.
   Same with Pete Buttigieg. I liked him when he was a fresh face, and he was very funny as a guest on the NPR comedy new quiz show, “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell.” But the trouble with today’s news cycle is that it moves so fast that fresh faces also wilt fast.
   Plus, there’s the age thing, in the other direction. He may not be ripe enough. On Inauguration Day, Jan. 20, he’ll be 39, and that’s only because the day before will be his birthday. Yes, he’s been a mayor, but a mayor of What?
   I’d vote for Mayor Pete. He's smart beyond his years, easy on the ears and compares well to his peers.
   Elizabeth Warren is more to my taste. I didn’t like her at first, until I did, and then I didn’t so much. And now I’m liking her again, even though she’s 70, getting up there, but not like Joe and Bernie. She has a whole lot of energy. Lots of plans. Learns and teaches at the same time.

   I PREFER  AMY KLOBUCHAR. I don’t know why, exactly. She got a nice manner, except when she needs to get tough with an opponent. Nice and tough. Good combination; some protein mixed in with the vegetables, I’d say. Nicely aged, too, at 59, with lots of experience under her belt - 13 years as a U.S. senator.
   But if go back to our pyramid image, this one rooted on popularity, my favorites are pretty much in inverse order: Joe’s on top at 27 percent, according to Real Clear Politics polling averages; Bernie’s at 19; Liz, 16; the Mayor, 7; and Amy, with just 3. (You’re wondering about the sixth debater, Tom Steyer – vegetable, animal or mineral, he’s too rich for my taste).
 

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SO, HERE WE ARE.
   The Democrats have cooked up a vegetable stew.
   I’d be happy to take your place at the table, if I had the right to vote, thankful to have some wholesome choices. And I hope that I’d do justice to the privilege of acting like a grownup and do what’s good for me and great for the country.
   Donald Trump is a disaster.
   His second term will be a catastrophe.
   So I hope you’ll put any reservations aside and go out to vote.
   Vote for Joe. Vote for Bernie. Liz, Pete or Amy.
   And your reward?
   He or she will be our best chance to save the planet, rescue democracy and live to a long and healthy old age.

(The wording of the paragraph indicated by three asterisks ***  has been revised to eliminate a gratuitous reference to Barack Obama's race. CLICK here to read a fuller discussion in a separate post.)

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    A "sweet dog" and a smart opossum consider a nation at risk.

    The writers

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    PHOEBE, a "sweet dog" who came to Rhode Island in 2010 as a stray puppy from Missouri, was a political agnostic until Trump's catastrophic election. She tracked his presidency in a blog, which she decided to resurrect it this year  when it became obvious that Republicans are committed to Trump's destructive policies
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    MR. O, an opossum, showed up in Phoebe's backyard somewhat mysteriously. He turned out to have genuine insight into political matters, and he agreed to assume co-author duties of the blog after Phoebe's previous writing partner, Cat, a cat, died.
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    CAT

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